I.S (@livingviascars)

I.S

@livingviascars

'feel. express. be real. be you.' - me

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  • 2,721 Followers

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Yeah you hurt me real fucking bad. since the day you walked out of my life, i have been repeatedly living the same nightmare you threw me into but now i'm finally waking up. i'm nearly at the finish line, even though it took me months, after spending so many nights thinking about you, wasting my tears on you, to finally realise i am much better off without you in my life. we were happy once but now i'm beginning to laugh without you. i have picked up all the pieces, to flaunt my flaws and enhance the parts you used to love, showing you what you lost when you left me stranded alone and feeling insecure. now i'm standing up with the kind of vibes that'll leave you full of regret and disappointment in yourself when you see me glowing with my newfound confidence and positivity. the old me would have felt guilty to making you suffer for letting me go. But now that i've finally realised how much i'm worth, god, does it feel fucking amazing seeing your eyes shamed with pain as you realise what you truly gained and lost
@livingviascars .
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I.S (@livingviascars)


Yeah you hurt me real fucking bad. since the day you walked out of my life, i have been repeatedly living the same nightmare you threw me into but now i'm finally waking up. i'm nearly at the finish line, even though it took me months, after spending so many nights thinking about you, wasting my tears on you, to finally realise i am much better off without you in my life. we were happy once but now i'm beginning to laugh without you. i have picked up all the pieces, to flaunt my flaws and enhance the parts you used to love, showing you what you lost when you left me stranded alone and feeling insecure. now i'm standing up with the kind of vibes that'll leave you full of regret and disappointment in yourself when you see me glowing with my newfound confidence and positivity. the old me would have felt guilty to making you suffer for letting me go. But now that i've finally realised how much i'm worth, god, does it feel fucking amazing seeing your eyes shamed with pain as you realise what you truly gained and lost @livingviascars . . . . . . . #writersofinstagram #writer #writersofig #writing #writingcommunity #word #wordporn #writerssociety #poet #poetsofinstagram #poetsofig #poetry #poetryisnotdead #mood #spilledink #spilledthoughts #creativewriting #poem #quote #photography #photographer #instagram #photogram #sky #clouds #skyphotography #sunset #sunrise #sunsetphotography

i don't know what my future will be like. but i only hope for the best.
i hope that that my biggest fears do not come true.
i hope that it is not those fears in which God uses to test me.
test my faith
in Him.
i believe in Him. and His plans.
i believe He will give me, 
not what i desire but what i need.
but that is what i am afraid of, 
that what if my heart is left aching till the day i die.
because He gives me what i need but tests me on what my heart truly wants.
He lives in my heart, so He knows exactly
the dreams my heart beats for.
i know my heart should be grateful 
for even beating at all. 
but it is those dreams that motivate my mind
to keep on living.
if i don't have a star to look up to, my mind will become engulfed and lost within the darkness.
i only pray that in order for Him to give my soul what it needs, 
that my stars do not need to be destroyed. 
or my own darkness will destroy me. 
if that happens then i fear,
i might just become blind to my own destruction
and let go of believing. 
@livingviascars .
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I.S (@livingviascars)


i don't know what my future will be like. but i only hope for the best. i hope that that my biggest fears do not come true. i hope that it is not those fears in which God uses to test me. test my faith in Him. i believe in Him. and His plans. i believe He will give me, not what i desire but what i need. but that is what i am afraid of, that what if my heart is left aching till the day i die. because He gives me what i need but tests me on what my heart truly wants. He lives in my heart, so He knows exactly the dreams my heart beats for. i know my heart should be grateful for even beating at all. but it is those dreams that motivate my mind to keep on living. if i don't have a star to look up to, my mind will become engulfed and lost within the darkness. i only pray that in order for Him to give my soul what it needs, that my stars do not need to be destroyed. or my own darkness will destroy me. if that happens then i fear, i might just become blind to my own destruction and let go of believing. @livingviascars . . . . #writersofinstagram #writer #writersofig #writing #wordsmith #writingcommunity #word #wordporn #writerssociety #poet #poetsofinstagram #poetsofig #poetry #poetryisnotdead #mood #spilledink #poemporn #spilledthoughts #creativewriting #poem #quote #quotestoliveby #quotes #instagram #heart #love #pain #sadness #happiness #strength

...it's funny how much your pride can blind you to the point where you can't see the strength in someone asking you for help or for your forgiveness. the moment you lower your pride and become humble, you realise it's an honour for someone to be coming to you for help it means they saw something trustworthy in you to let you in with their burdens. and you'll understand that to be able to forgive is not a gift to make you more superior. it's a gift you can give someone else. one that will provide ease in another heart, bringing them the closure they need to move on, in becoming a better human being. as well as making you a stronger human being. so help when it is possible and forgive as much as you can, because one day the tables might turn when you could be the one in need of help or forgiveness. 
@livingviascars .
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#writersofinstagram #writer #writersofig #writing #wordsmith #writingcommunity #word #wordporn #writerssociety  #poet #poetsofinstagram #poetsofig #poetry #poetryisnotdead #mood #spilledink #poemporn #spilledthoughts #creativewriting #poem #quote #quotestoliveby #quotes #instagram #heart #love #pain #sadness #happiness #strength

I.S (@livingviascars)


...it's funny how much your pride can blind you to the point where you can't see the strength in someone asking you for help or for your forgiveness. the moment you lower your pride and become humble, you realise it's an honour for someone to be coming to you for help it means they saw something trustworthy in you to let you in with their burdens. and you'll understand that to be able to forgive is not a gift to make you more superior. it's a gift you can give someone else. one that will provide ease in another heart, bringing them the closure they need to move on, in becoming a better human being. as well as making you a stronger human being. so help when it is possible and forgive as much as you can, because one day the tables might turn when you could be the one in need of help or forgiveness. @livingviascars . . . . #writersofinstagram #writer #writersofig #writing #wordsmith #writingcommunity #word #wordporn #writerssociety #poet #poetsofinstagram #poetsofig #poetry #poetryisnotdead #mood #spilledink #poemporn #spilledthoughts #creativewriting #poem #quote #quotestoliveby #quotes #instagram #heart #love #pain #sadness #happiness #strength

why was it always me reaching out to you? how did we go from speaking to each other every day to barely having a conversation every so month? you can't tell me that i stopped making an effort when you're the one who made the first move, in moving away from us. yet i still made an effort in keeping us strong even when all the signs were clear, than you were slowly becoming distant from me. so eventually there came a point where i had to stop putting your heart over mine. i had to rearrange my priorities and stop chasing after you. that only made it worse, because the moment i stopped trying to keep our connection, that was the point i realised it was truly over. you and me, we were over and were never going to treat each the same way again. so if you ever felt like i gave up on you, it wasn't because i didn't try. it was because i got tired of trying. 
@livingviascars .
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#writersofinstagram #writer #writersofig #writing #wordsmith #writingcommunity #word #wordporn #writerssociety  #poet #poetsofinstagram #poetsofig #poetry #poetryisnotdead #mood #spilledink #poemporn #spilledthoughts #creativewriting #poem #quote #quotestoliveby #quotes #instagram #heart #love #pain #tears #sadness #happiness

I.S (@livingviascars)


why was it always me reaching out to you? how did we go from speaking to each other every day to barely having a conversation every so month? you can't tell me that i stopped making an effort when you're the one who made the first move, in moving away from us. yet i still made an effort in keeping us strong even when all the signs were clear, than you were slowly becoming distant from me. so eventually there came a point where i had to stop putting your heart over mine. i had to rearrange my priorities and stop chasing after you. that only made it worse, because the moment i stopped trying to keep our connection, that was the point i realised it was truly over. you and me, we were over and were never going to treat each the same way again. so if you ever felt like i gave up on you, it wasn't because i didn't try. it was because i got tired of trying. @livingviascars . . . . . #writersofinstagram #writer #writersofig #writing #wordsmith #writingcommunity #word #wordporn #writerssociety #poet #poetsofinstagram #poetsofig #poetry #poetryisnotdead #mood #spilledink #poemporn #spilledthoughts #creativewriting #poem #quote #quotestoliveby #quotes #instagram #heart #love #pain #tears #sadness #happiness

being mentally unstable is exhausting. it's a whole other energy than being physically tired. because how do you rest your mind when it's exhausted from dealing with your inner struggles. how do you take a break from life? how do you take a day off from college or work or going to a party because you're suffering from a mental illness. society doesn't let your mind rest and it fucks us up. because while already being mentally broken, we have to use more energy to find the strength to put a smile and carry with our day. only because people won't believe the unseen without evidence. how do we prove to society that you can fall so deep into the darkest of your minds that you lose the energy and will to stop living .
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I.S (@livingviascars)


being mentally unstable is exhausting. it's a whole other energy than being physically tired. because how do you rest your mind when it's exhausted from dealing with your inner struggles. how do you take a break from life? how do you take a day off from college or work or going to a party because you're suffering from a mental illness. society doesn't let your mind rest and it fucks us up. because while already being mentally broken, we have to use more energy to find the strength to put a smile and carry with our day. only because people won't believe the unseen without evidence. how do we prove to society that you can fall so deep into the darkest of your minds that you lose the energy and will to stop living . . . . . . #writersofinstagram #writer #writersofig #writing #wordsmith #writingcommunity #word #wordporn #writerssociety #poet #poetsofinstagram #poetsofig #poetry #poetryisnotdead #mood #spilledink #poemporn #spilledthoughts #creativewriting #poem #quote #quotestoliveby #quotes #instagram #heart #love #pain #tears #sadness #happiness

i prayed for you. when i bowed down to Him, it was you who i prayed for on those nights. it wasn't because i felt pity for you. it was because you had trusted me enough to open up to me. to expose your vulnerable side and show me the journey you've been struggling on. i felt honoured that you had given me that trust. i knew you thought you weren't good enough due to some circumstances in your life but you had underrated your own strength. and i knew the only one who could show you and make you feel that strength within you was only Him. the One who placed it inside you. so i prayed to Him, to give you strength and to bring you at ease. you had become that close to me, enough to make my heart break and bring tears to my eyes when you told me about the battles you were fighting. i cared about you that much. so imagine how much it hurt when you walked away, only to become a stranger to me once again. 
@livingviascars .
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#writersofinstagram #writer #writersofig #writing #writingcommunity #word #wordporn #writerssociety  #poet #poetsofinstagram #poetsofig #poetry #poetryisnotdead #mood #spilledink #spilledthoughts #creativewriting #poem #quote #photography #photographer #instagram #photogram #sky #clouds #skyphotography #sunset #sunrise #sunsetphotography

I.S (@livingviascars)


i prayed for you. when i bowed down to Him, it was you who i prayed for on those nights. it wasn't because i felt pity for you. it was because you had trusted me enough to open up to me. to expose your vulnerable side and show me the journey you've been struggling on. i felt honoured that you had given me that trust. i knew you thought you weren't good enough due to some circumstances in your life but you had underrated your own strength. and i knew the only one who could show you and make you feel that strength within you was only Him. the One who placed it inside you. so i prayed to Him, to give you strength and to bring you at ease. you had become that close to me, enough to make my heart break and bring tears to my eyes when you told me about the battles you were fighting. i cared about you that much. so imagine how much it hurt when you walked away, only to become a stranger to me once again. @livingviascars . . . . . . . #writersofinstagram #writer #writersofig #writing #writingcommunity #word #wordporn #writerssociety #poet #poetsofinstagram #poetsofig #poetry #poetryisnotdead #mood #spilledink #spilledthoughts #creativewriting #poem #quote #photography #photographer #instagram #photogram #sky #clouds #skyphotography #sunset #sunrise #sunsetphotography

sometimes 
what you can do
easily
can be a struggle
for someone else.
and only He knows
how much a person 
struggles
in trying to make 
His creator happy.
so who are you 
to judge their 
actions
and intentions 
when you have no idea
how much strength,
patience
and faith it takes
to making a commitment.
a commitment 
which could bring them 
closer to Him 
than you think,
no matter how they are doing it. 
@livingviascars .
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I.S (@livingviascars)


sometimes what you can do easily can be a struggle for someone else. and only He knows how much a person struggles in trying to make His creator happy. so who are you to judge their actions and intentions when you have no idea how much strength, patience and faith it takes to making a commitment. a commitment which could bring them closer to Him than you think, no matter how they are doing it. @livingviascars . . . . . . . #writersofinstagram #writer #writersofig #writing #writingcommunity #word #wordporn #writerssociety #poet #poetsofinstagram #poetsofig #poetry #poetryisnotdead #mood #spilledink #spilledthoughts #creativewriting #poem #quote #photography #photographer #instagram #photogram #sky #clouds #skyphotography #sunset #sunrise #sunsetphotography

God just let it out. lock the doors, get under the duvet and let it all out. cry it out, rant to yourself and scream a little. or a lot. it's not going to help your burdens disappear or make anyone understand you a little better. it's not going to kill your demons or make you forget the past. but sometimes you just need yourself, to give yourself the space and attention that you need. thing is, you're at the point where you're so mentally broken that you're really desperate for someone to notice how you can't handle your burden or how you're letting your demons kill you. you want someone not to blame you for being irritated, or for not being able to handle your responsibilities. you want someone to stop making feel you down for not wanting to leave the house. and you just so desperately want to them to understand that you're not being like this on purpose. understand that you're mind is going crazy from dealing with your internal battles on your own for many many years. you're not asking for sympathy, you just want them to understand that you need to take it slow. it's not going to take one night for you to fix yourself and become a better person in one night. so if no one knows and understands what's going on inside your mind, then every once in a while, be there for yourself and let it out. to yourself. because sometimes no one understands you better than yourself. 
@livingviascars .
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#writersofinstagram #writer #writersofig #writing #writingcommunity #word #wordporn #writerssociety  #poet #poetsofinstagram #poetsofig #poetry #poetryisnotdead #mood #spilledink #spilledthoughts #creativewriting #poem #quote #photography #photographer #instagram #photogram #sky #clouds #skyphotography #sunset #sunrise #sunsetphotography

I.S (@livingviascars)


God just let it out. lock the doors, get under the duvet and let it all out. cry it out, rant to yourself and scream a little. or a lot. it's not going to help your burdens disappear or make anyone understand you a little better. it's not going to kill your demons or make you forget the past. but sometimes you just need yourself, to give yourself the space and attention that you need. thing is, you're at the point where you're so mentally broken that you're really desperate for someone to notice how you can't handle your burden or how you're letting your demons kill you. you want someone not to blame you for being irritated, or for not being able to handle your responsibilities. you want someone to stop making feel you down for not wanting to leave the house. and you just so desperately want to them to understand that you're not being like this on purpose. understand that you're mind is going crazy from dealing with your internal battles on your own for many many years. you're not asking for sympathy, you just want them to understand that you need to take it slow. it's not going to take one night for you to fix yourself and become a better person in one night. so if no one knows and understands what's going on inside your mind, then every once in a while, be there for yourself and let it out. to yourself. because sometimes no one understands you better than yourself. @livingviascars . . . . . #writersofinstagram #writer #writersofig #writing #writingcommunity #word #wordporn #writerssociety #poet #poetsofinstagram #poetsofig #poetry #poetryisnotdead #mood #spilledink #spilledthoughts #creativewriting #poem #quote #photography #photographer #instagram #photogram #sky #clouds #skyphotography #sunset #sunrise #sunsetphotography

how do you do it? how do you bounce right back up every time you've fallen? you have fallen and risen so many times, that i don't believe it when you tell me that you are weak. yet every day you still smile, even if it's for a minute. you don't complain out loud, and you never make your problems out to be bigger than others. you constantly act like you are grateful for everything you've been blessed, even though deep down you feel guilty for not appreciating your life enough. you somehow find a light in every tunnel, and you're always willing to lend a hand even when you don't have the strength to get out of bed. there have been moments when you have been weak, when you have lost the ability to feel and care, when you just don't have it in you smile and everyone sees you as the grumpy one. but you just need space sometimes to break down, so you can release all that sadness, anger and frustration. breaking down may be weak, but it's like an detoxication of the mind. it's important for your mental health. so your mind can breathe and can begin to think rationally, and you'll feel lighter. so don't you dare tell me you are just weak because i have seen you at your lowest, and i have seen how your lowest gives you the strength to reach the highest. in order to survive through life, you need both your weakest moments along with your strongest ones. @livingviascars .
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#writersofinstagram #writer #writersofig #writing #writingcommunity #word #wordporn #writerssociety  #poet #poetsofinstagram #poetsofig #poetry #poetryisnotdead #mood #spilledink #spilledthoughts #creativewriting #poem #quote #photography #photographer #instagram #photogram #sky #clouds #skyphotography #sunset #sunrise #sunsetphotography

I.S (@livingviascars)


how do you do it? how do you bounce right back up every time you've fallen? you have fallen and risen so many times, that i don't believe it when you tell me that you are weak. yet every day you still smile, even if it's for a minute. you don't complain out loud, and you never make your problems out to be bigger than others. you constantly act like you are grateful for everything you've been blessed, even though deep down you feel guilty for not appreciating your life enough. you somehow find a light in every tunnel, and you're always willing to lend a hand even when you don't have the strength to get out of bed. there have been moments when you have been weak, when you have lost the ability to feel and care, when you just don't have it in you smile and everyone sees you as the grumpy one. but you just need space sometimes to break down, so you can release all that sadness, anger and frustration. breaking down may be weak, but it's like an detoxication of the mind. it's important for your mental health. so your mind can breathe and can begin to think rationally, and you'll feel lighter. so don't you dare tell me you are just weak because i have seen you at your lowest, and i have seen how your lowest gives you the strength to reach the highest. in order to survive through life, you need both your weakest moments along with your strongest ones. @livingviascars . . . . . #writersofinstagram #writer #writersofig #writing #writingcommunity #word #wordporn #writerssociety #poet #poetsofinstagram #poetsofig #poetry #poetryisnotdead #mood #spilledink #spilledthoughts #creativewriting #poem #quote #photography #photographer #instagram #photogram #sky #clouds #skyphotography #sunset #sunrise #sunsetphotography

you love listening to mainstream music, but you're not mainstream as a person. the struggles you have to endure on your own, makes you feel isolated. and so you do things that is normal and that majority of people your age do. because you feel you're too mature for your age, you grew up overnight and since 14 you've never could enjoy what your peers would rave on about in your maths class. at 16 you could never join in on conversations as you never could relate to knowing the latest song or the latest fashion. you never were able to keep up with the latest news because you were too busy spending your nights crying. because you were too busy learning the art of pretending. most of the time you would have to lie, to fit in and to be liked. you were always trying to cover up your tracks and at the same time deal with men in white, instantly increasing your mental age to 80. because that's how you felt, being feed a million little white pills. you had to learn how to balance burdens on your shoulders, while walking on a thin string. and so you had never had real friends because no one truly knew you for who you are. and i hate that people judge you, for doing things are mainstream or too normal, or even childish because if they knew the real you, they'd understand that you're just trying make yourself feel less abnormal. 
@livingviascars .
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#writersofinstagram #writer #writersofig #writing #writingcommunity #word #wordporn #writerssociety  #poet #poetsofinstagram #poetsofig #poetry #poetryisnotdead #mood #spilledink #spilledthoughts #creativewriting #poem #quote #photography #photographer #instagram #photogram #sky #clouds #skyphotography #sunset #sunrise #sunsetphotography

I.S (@livingviascars)


you love listening to mainstream music, but you're not mainstream as a person. the struggles you have to endure on your own, makes you feel isolated. and so you do things that is normal and that majority of people your age do. because you feel you're too mature for your age, you grew up overnight and since 14 you've never could enjoy what your peers would rave on about in your maths class. at 16 you could never join in on conversations as you never could relate to knowing the latest song or the latest fashion. you never were able to keep up with the latest news because you were too busy spending your nights crying. because you were too busy learning the art of pretending. most of the time you would have to lie, to fit in and to be liked. you were always trying to cover up your tracks and at the same time deal with men in white, instantly increasing your mental age to 80. because that's how you felt, being feed a million little white pills. you had to learn how to balance burdens on your shoulders, while walking on a thin string. and so you had never had real friends because no one truly knew you for who you are. and i hate that people judge you, for doing things are mainstream or too normal, or even childish because if they knew the real you, they'd understand that you're just trying make yourself feel less abnormal. @livingviascars . . . . . #writersofinstagram #writer #writersofig #writing #writingcommunity #word #wordporn #writerssociety #poet #poetsofinstagram #poetsofig #poetry #poetryisnotdead #mood #spilledink #spilledthoughts #creativewriting #poem #quote #photography #photographer #instagram #photogram #sky #clouds #skyphotography #sunset #sunrise #sunsetphotography

i'm proud of you. i know it's hard, being you. the burdens you carry from your past hasn't yet deceased and you're still struggling with the devil taunting about your sins, while you're struggling with your spiritual battle. the one God has written for you and only He knows why. i know this makes it difficult for you to sacrifice little things, but somehow you find the strength and patience to endure it, through the satisfaction of seeing your mother's smile. i'm so proud for your strength, because i know you feel like no one understands your pain and the demons you fight every day. no one knows about heartbreak you're healing from, and you just don't know how to deal with it all some nights. but yet your faith in God never wavers, and you survive the night as you wake up the next morning, mentally preparing yourself to deal with your struggles all over again. @livingviascars .
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#writersofinstagram #writer #writersofig #writing #writingcommunity #word #wordporn #writerssociety  #poet #poetsofinstagram #poetsofig #poetry #poetryisnotdead #mood #spilledink #spilledthoughts #creativewriting #poem #quote #photography #photographer #instagram #photogram #sky #clouds #skyphotography #sunset #sunrise #sunsetphotography

I.S (@livingviascars)


i'm proud of you. i know it's hard, being you. the burdens you carry from your past hasn't yet deceased and you're still struggling with the devil taunting about your sins, while you're struggling with your spiritual battle. the one God has written for you and only He knows why. i know this makes it difficult for you to sacrifice little things, but somehow you find the strength and patience to endure it, through the satisfaction of seeing your mother's smile. i'm so proud for your strength, because i know you feel like no one understands your pain and the demons you fight every day. no one knows about heartbreak you're healing from, and you just don't know how to deal with it all some nights. but yet your faith in God never wavers, and you survive the night as you wake up the next morning, mentally preparing yourself to deal with your struggles all over again. @livingviascars . . . . . . . #writersofinstagram #writer #writersofig #writing #writingcommunity #word #wordporn #writerssociety #poet #poetsofinstagram #poetsofig #poetry #poetryisnotdead #mood #spilledink #spilledthoughts #creativewriting #poem #quote #photography #photographer #instagram #photogram #sky #clouds #skyphotography #sunset #sunrise #sunsetphotography